Limiting Beliefs: Are Yours Supporting or Stopping You?

You know the moment. You're about to do the thing, the dishes, the walk, the creative project you've been dreaming about for months, and all of a sudden you feel a HUGE resistance to it, like your whole body's dug its heels in.

And then the thoughts come flooding in:

😩"I can't do it! Why bother, it's just gonna get dirty again. I'll do it tomorrow when I've got more energy!"

So you go back to whatever you're in the habit of doing. Maybe it's the TV, maybe it's one more cup of tea, maybe it's those funny videos online that make you feel better while keeping you exactly where you are (no judgement here, my love😉).

I feel you, my love😅 And did you know that this resistance is one of the clearest signs of limiting beliefs at work? Let's look at where they come from, how to tell which beliefs are supporting you and which are stopping you, and how to upgrade the ones that are ready to go🤗

Where do limiting beliefs come from?

Limiting beliefs usually form in childhood, when something emotionally charged happens and you attach a belief to everything that was present at the time. Your belief system works like an operating system, and its foundations are laid when you're little.

As you grow, that operating system takes the place of your parents' constant guidance. You learn how to be a little person from the people and the places all around you, and you soak it ALL up.

So let's go back to the dishes. Say you were doing the dishes as a child when something frightening happened. Maybe your parents started fighting about money, or you cut yourself for the first time and saw blood. You felt unsafe, and from that moment you created a whole bunch of beliefs attached to doing the dishes, along the lines of "bad things happen when you do the dishes"🥴

And some of those beliefs about money were theirs, absorbed long before you knew what was happening.

Why do I feel resistance to things I want to do?

Resistance shows up when a belief in your system has decided that doing this thing isn't safe. Your system would rather keep you in the familiar than risk you failing, feeling disappointed and turning on yourself, coz it knows how much that hurts you.

We find comfort in the familiar. The TV, the extra cup of tea and the scrolling all feel comfy coz your operating system knows they work at keeping you safe. They're the trackpants of your daily life (and who doesn't love a good pair of trackpants😉).

The things you're dreaming about live just past that familiar edge, and your system needs to feel safe enough to let you wander out there.

Why do the little things feel so hard?

A task like "just doing the dishes" becomes SO much more than the dishes when your system's linked it to an old experience of feeling unsafe. That's why some of us struggle with certain things that other people breeze through without a second thought.

And it's exactly why comparison has no place in daily living, coz no two people ever experience the same moment in the same way.

Each of us creates our own set of beliefs, and they build on top of each other. Every new experience, with its different people, sounds, smells, objects and places, adds another layer on top of the ones that are already there, until one day you're standing at the sink wondering why on Earth a few plates feel like climbing a mountain😩

How do I tell if a belief is supporting me or stopping me?

Pay attention to what happens in you as you go to do something. A belief that supports you feels spacious. You might still feel a flutter of nerves, but your body stays open and you can move toward the thing with some ease.

A belief that's stopping you often feels heavy, tight or draining. You find yourself wandering off, getting distracted by the fluff on the carpet, or suddenly feeling SO tired you could lie down right there on the floor🥱

Resistance is worth getting curious about. Sometimes it's an old belief, sometimes it's nerves about something brand new, and sometimes it belongs to someone else entirely. Each one asks for something different from you, so it helps to have a little look before you decide what it means.

The root block and its place of origin

A root block is the very first block created around an experience, and it holds the most emotional charge. It lives at the place of origin, the moment where the whole pattern began, and until it's met there, the layers built on top of it are harder to shift too.

The root block's the one that really puts up a fight to stay, coz it believes that if it leaves, you won't be safe anymore.

All of your blocks were created to keep you safe. Remember when your parents told you the stove was dangerous coz it was hot? That fear's what stopped you touching it and getting hurt. It can also be part of why you don't love cooking as a grown-up😉 (Me? I'll cook all day long if it means I get to eat at the end of it😍😂)

How do I upgrade a limiting belief?

Notice the belief, thank it for keeping you safe, check whether it's even yours, and then choose a belief that matches who you are now. The old one was only ever needed until you learnt a new way.

Back to the stove. That fear was only needed until you learnt how to use the stove safely. Without an upgrade, it keeps you from cooking with confidence and joy.

So the upgrade goes from "the stove is dangerous" to "I'm confident and capable of using the stove safely, and I love creating beautiful, nourishing food."

What if my beliefs run really deep?

When layer upon layer has built up over a root block, it helps to have someone hold the space while it all unravels. Knowing more about your beliefs doesn't mean you have to dig through every single layer on your own, my love.

Some of us have spent so long being the one who holds everyone else together that letting someone hold us feels strange at first. It's allowed though, and it's such a beautiful thing to let yourself have💖