Seeking Approval From Others? Find Your Own Worth

Do you ever catch yourself waiting for someone to say it, my love?

"You're doing great." "You look perfect." "You're such a good person." And when they don't say it, or when someone judges you in a less than kind way, do you feel crappy about yourself for the rest of the day (and maybe the rest of the week😬)?

😩"Why does one comment from them wreck my WHOLE day?!"

If you're always seeking approval from others, you're handing over something that was only ever yours to hold: your sense of your own worth. And when that's sitting in someone else's hands, you'll be waiting forever, coz nobody else can see all of who you are.

I feel you, my love😅 I used to have this one in a MASSIVE way. So let's look at what's actually going on in your energy, and then I'll show you the little mirror practice that helped me bring my worth back home🤗

Why do I keep seeking approval from others?

At some point your sense of worth got attached to other people's opinions instead of anchored inside you. Each compliment becomes a top-up and each criticism feels like a withdrawal, so you end up checking the balance ALL day long.

This usually starts out so innocently. Maybe you did really well at something as a little one and someone praised you, and coz nobody ever showed you how to recognise your own worth, you started using that praise as the gauge of how good you are.

From then on your energy keeps reaching outward for that same feeling. I spent years bending and folding and contorting myself into whatever shape would keep everyone around me happy, and I was exhausted from trying to please everyone all of the time🥴

And sometimes the hunger for approval isn't even yours. It can be a pattern handed down through your family, where love felt like something you had to earn by being good. Asking "Is this mine?" can loosen it in a way no amount of trying harder ever will✨

Needing validation puts pressure on your relationships

It puts a whole lot of pressure on the people around you, my love. Your expectations of them and their opinions get so high that they can't show up as themselves with you, coz they're too busy trying to keep you feeling worthy.

That pressure creates friction. They feel it, you feel it, and the connection you were longing for gets harder and harder to reach😩

The other thing to know is that everyone's opinion of you is filtered through their own wounds and their own story. They make their judgements without fully knowing who you are on a Soul level, so even the kindest compliment can only ever reflect a little slice of you.

And the moment you really see that, you can stop asking them to.

Can things or appearances give me self worth?

Oh my love, this is one of the sneakiest places worth gets stuck. We attach our value to things and experiences too, and decide that without them we aren't good enough:

• 💭 The handbag (or the shoes, or the watch)
• 💭 The car sitting in the driveway
• 💭 The house, and how it looks when people come over
• 💭 Looking a certain way, every single time you leave the house
• 💭 The holiday everyone else seems to be on
• 💭 The title on your business card

It often happens when you see someone you value hugely and notice what they've got. In that moment you decide that to be valued the same way, you need those things too.

That isn't true at all, and it can also put you in the poor house, as our dad would say😂 You end up chasing things to give you a level of value that can't be changed by anything you buy, or by anyone's opinion.

When you really connect with this, it gives you a freedom you may never have let yourself have before: the freedom to show up and share yourself with the world as you are, coz you're no longer scared your value's going to change.

How do I find my own self worth?

Look within, beneath the outer layers of how you identify yourself (your appearance, your belongings, your to-do list😉), to the parts of you that inspire and care and love. Those parts are always there, coz they're part of your True Essence.

They're the parts you don't acknowledge to yourself every day, and secretly hope someone else will notice and point out in those little everyday moments. You're allowed to learn to see them yourself, beautiful Soul, and you're allowed a little help while you do.

So we start somewhere you already look every single morning.

How does self worth help me be seen?

When your worth lives inside you, being seen stops feeling so risky. Someone's opinion can still sting (we're human after all😅), and it no longer gets to decide who you are, so you can share your voice, your work and your light without bracing yourself for the verdict.

This is the edge SO many sensitive Souls stand on, right between hiding and being seen. And you don't have to stand on it by yourself, my love.