Fear of Change? Why It Stresses You Out and What Helps
Soul Notes · The In-Between Season
You'd only just got comfortable, and now everything's moving again. Your fear has a story behind it, my love, and some of that story might not even be yours.
When it's big, change can feel like the ground's crumbled away beneath your feet and there's nothing left to grab onto. Like everything you thought you knew about life wasn't real, and now you've got to start all over again from scratch.
Or maybe you'd only just got comfortable after the last change (you'd finally found where everything lives in the new kitchen😅), and now there's MORE change happening, and it's totally freaking you out.
😩"Can EVERYTHING please just stay still for five minutes?!"
I feel you, my love😅 I've wished for a pause button on life more times than I can count😂
Did you know that fear of change usually comes from old blocks sitting in your energy, and that some of it may have been handed to you long before you could choose? Once you can see where it's coming from, change starts to feel a whole lot more like an adventure, so let's go exploring together🤗
Why does change stress me out so much?
Change stresses you out when it brushes up against old blocks in your energy, the beliefs and wounds created during earlier changes that didn't feel safe. Your system remembers those moments, and it tries VERY hard to protect you from ever feeling that way again.
So the fear you're feeling today often belongs to an older version of you, still bracing from something that happened a long time ago. Your body's reacting to then, while your eyes are looking at now.
And change will keep coming! It always does. Everything in life is designed to flow, the seasons, the tides, the moon and the price of a cuppa😅, so the more you understand what's behind your fear, the more freedom you'll have in every season of your life.
"You can thank it for trying to protect you and let it know you've got this one now."🤗
Patti Higgins
Some of your fear belongs to the people who raised you
Fear of change is often inherited. If you grew up around grown-ups who dreaded the unknown, who held on tight to whatever was familiar or who braced every time life shifted, your system learnt to brace too, long before you had any say in it.
That's why a change you're really excited about can still set your heart racing. Part of you is running an old family pattern that was never yours to begin with, and it's doing its very best job of keeping you "safe" by keeping you exactly where you are😬
So when the fear rises, it's worth asking, "Is this mine, or is this something I picked up along the way?" You'll be surprised how often just asking takes the heat out of it, coz you can't work through a fear that was never yours. It just sits there until you notice it and hand it back.
Finding the blocks behind your fear
The blocks behind your fear show up in the changes that make your body tense. You can find them by comparing the changes that leave you feeling nothing at all with the ones that set off a reaction.
Let's start with the everyday ones. Day turns to night and back to day again. How do you feel about that?
You change your clothes. How do you feel about that?
What about your dishes going from clean to dirty and back to clean again?🥴 (Ok, that one might get a reaction out of all of us😂)
All of these are change, and yet you may not be bothered by them at all, which means there's no emotional charge attached. The changes that DO make your shoulders creep up towards your ears and your stomach tighten are where you'll find the blocks behind your fear.
How do I let go of the fear of change?
Start by noticing how you feel when a change sets you off, then get curious about the fear before you decide what to do with it. That one shift moves you out of the emotion and into clarity, and it's SO much easier to choose your next step from there.
A practice for when everything's moving
Meet your fear as an explorer
You don't have to take yourself off on a retreat for this one. You can do it at your desk, waiting at the traffic lights or standing in the middle of half-packed boxes (I won't judge the boxes, promise😉).
Notice the changes in your day
Pay attention to how you feel as different changes happen around you, the little ones and the big ones.
Catch the reaction
When a change sends you into fear, notice the thoughts and feelings that come with it, and where it lands in your body.
Ask, "What am I really afraid of?"
Let the answer come without judging it. It might surprise you, and it might be much older than the change in front of you.
Ask, "Is this mine to work with now?"
If it isn't yours, breathe out and let it go back to wherever it came from, with love. If it's yours, breathe with it, and know there's no rush at all.
Have a big glass of water
When energy's moving, your physical body needs extra hydration to support it releasing from your cells💧
Fear's worth listening to
Fear's a valuable gauge that helps keep you safe, so it deserves your attention. Look at it before you act on it, so you can tell a real warning from an old wound.
The steps above help you do exactly that. Look at your fear the way an explorer would, with curiosity instead of judgment, like you've just found a funny-looking shell on the beach and you're turning it over to see what lives inside.
If there's an actual threat to your safety, honour it and take care of yourself, always. If it turns out to be an old memory, an old belief or a family pattern you picked up along the way, you can thank it for trying to protect you and let it know you've got this one now.
As an explorer, every change becomes something to get curious about. What's here? What's this showing me? Is this even mine? What's ready to go? And as each layer moves, you'll find yourself meeting change with more ease, and maybe even a little excitement🙌
How do I stay steady in the in-between?
You stay steady in the in-between by coming back to your own Sovereign Field, the energy that's yours and only yours, again and again. When you're anchored there, change can swirl all around you without sweeping you away with it.
I know this space from the inside, my love. Our home and our belongings were flooded and destroyed in two separate floods, five years apart. And in 2019, less than nine months after giving birth to my youngest daughter, I was dying again. My life's been turned upside down more than once, and coming back to my own field is what's held me through every single time.
You don't have to find your footing on your own while everything's moving either. Some seasons ask for something to come back to, over and over, until your body remembers the way home by itself💖
Fear of change: FAQs
Why am I so afraid of change?
Fear of change usually comes from old blocks, beliefs and emotional charge created during earlier changes that didn't feel safe, and some of it can be inherited from the people who raised you. Your system's trying to protect you from feeling that way again, even when the change in front of you is a good one.
Is it normal to feel scared of change?
Yes, it's completely normal, my love. Fear's a helpful gauge that keeps you safe. What helps is getting curious about the fear before you act on it, so you can tell whether it's a real threat that needs honouring or an old wound that's ready to be seen and let go.
Can fear of change be inherited?
Often, yes. If the people around you growing up braced against change, your system can learn to brace too, long before you had a choice. Asking "Is this mine?" when the fear rises helps you sort what's yours to work with from what you picked up along the way.
What can I do when everything's changing at once?
Come back to your own field first. A short practice like the 60-Second Field Check™ from The Sovereign Field™ helps you anchor in yourself, so you can meet each change from steadiness instead of overwhelm, one breath and one change at a time.
Change can become an adventure
Fear of change is so often an old wound asking to be seen, and sometimes it's a family pattern that was never yours to carry. When you notice what sets you off, get curious about it and hand back what isn't yours, you start meeting change as an explorer, my love✨
A free guided practice
The Sovereign Field™
If you've spent years feeling everyone else's energy before your own, this is where we start, my love💖 The Sovereign Field™ walks you through a guided practice drawn from my Energetic Architecture Method™ to come back into your own field and feel what's actually yours. Then the 60-Second Field Check™ gives you a quick way to check in during your day (before the big meeting, after that phone call😉) so you can notice when you've drifted into someone else's energy and instead choose to come back home to your own again.
Free · yours to keep
Massive hugs and so much love,
Patti
xoxo😘🤗💖🌸💃
